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Enchanter of Foz

Part One
By: Me, Tato

This story was just sort of a silly idea I had.  It's nothing much,
and nothing to take seriously.  Just a few silly ideas in a silly 
story.  Enjoy the story and report any comments you have on it.  :o)  
Oh, and by the way, the songs that were in here...for example, "If I 
only had the Chip" and "If I only had the trust" can actually be sung 
to the music.  :o)  Enjoy!!

It was an ordinary day on the Christa. Well, as ordinary as it can 
GET, anyway.  Radu and Elmira were in the Rec Room playing Minbar 
Chess.  Elmira was winning.  Harlan, Catalina, and Suzee were on duty.
And Bova was with Rosie in the cafeteria talking...and eating.  When I
say TALKING, I a friendly way.  

"Oh Bova!  It's not THAT bad!" Rosie said in her usual annoying, and
entirely too cheerful tone.

"Then you taste it!" Bova said shoving a spoon to her direction.
" thanks.  I'm not hungry," Rosie said politely pushing the
spoon away with the grotesque food on it.  

Bova only shrugged and set the spoon down.  

* * * * * *

"This is so boring!" Catalina stated for the nineth time.  "Why do WE
have to do this when everyone else gets to relax?"

"Because Ms Davenport wants to torture us," Harlan said with a laugh.

"Or because SOMEBODY blamed us for the little prank Harlan played on
Ms Davenport," Suzee said accusingly.  Both Catalina and Suzee glared
at Harlan who was whistling innocently.  

He finally took notice of them.  "What?" Harlan said with a guilty
grin on his face.  "Well look on the bright side, girls.  You have
someone...cute to work with."

"Yeah, right!" they both said simultaneously. 

"Hey, you SAID!!"

"We lied."


Both girls looked at eachother and started laughing.  

* * * * * *

"Check mate!" Elmira said gleefully.  


"Dont worry Radu.  SOME day you'll beat me at the game."

"Yeah.  Right."  Radu got up and stretched.  They had been playing for
hours with their free time.  

"What time is it?" Elmira asked.  Radu looked to his wrist and 
suddenly realized he didn't have a watch.  He shrugged.  

"Nevermind, I know now.  Wow, almost lights out."

"Yeah.  I'm going to bed early."

"All right, see you in the morning!"  

Elmira gave Radu a goodnight kiss and walked out of the room in the
direction of No-mans land.  Radu walked to the guys bunkroom.

* * * * * *

Harlan yawned.  Not only was duty INCREDIBLY boring when they weren't
under attack, but he was DEAD tired.  He would normally sleep in Ms
Davenports class or another place.  But but Ms Davenport kept a strict
eye on him.  

"Okay, you three may go," Goddard said entering the ComPost. 

"Yes!" Harlan shouted out happily.  "Finally!"  Harlan raced out of
the room.  Now he could get some sleep!  Suzee and Catalina smiled and
walked out of the room.  

Radu got on his PJs and prepared for bed.  He had a long day.  Not 
that it was different from another day, but he lost count of the 
number of times Elmira had beaten him in Minbar Chess.  But he didn't
mind.  He always noticed the cute look on her face when she had a look
of victory to it.  

"Man, it was BORING today!" Harlan stated to no one in particular.

"Tell me about it," Bova said rolling his eyes.  "Rosie kept telling
me that everything was fine and dandy and wonderful.  Ugh!" Bova
jumped in his bed, pulled the covers over him and fell fast asleep.

"Wow, he doesn't waste any time," Harlan commented pointing to the
small Uranusian.  "So what did you and ELMIRA do today?"  Harlan
folded his arms and put a knowing look on his face.  

"Actually, it's nothing you think, Harlan," Radu said knowing 
full-well what Harlan was thinking.  


"Y-yeah, really.  We just...played Minbar Chess.  That's all."

"And who won?"

Radu blushed.  "S-she did."

"Hah!  You are TRULY pitiful, man."

"W-well, you haven't played her before.  She's difficult to beat."

"Sure."  Harlan jumped into his bunk and turned out the lights.  Radu
fell fast alseep.  But Harlan still sat awake.  He was so sick of all
the things going on in the Christa. Suzee and Catalina whispering and
laughing drove him nuts.  Bova's constant pessimistic attitude made
him want to STRANGLE the kid.  Radu's constancy to drag things out
when he was saying things made him want to tell him to just say what
he wanted to and not repeating the same syllables over and over again.
Rosie was so disgustingly happy, it made him want to be sick.  And
Goddard and Davenport were such an annoying pain.  If there was only a
place to get away.  A place different.  Unusual.  Unique.  He just
needed to get away from the ship!  Harlan, frustrated and stressed,
closed his eyes and slowly fell asleep. 

Harlan woke up and rubbed his eyes.  Hm...that was strange.  Everyone
had apparently exited the bunkroom...without waking him up. Harlan 
immediately shrugged it off and headed towards the ComPost.  He walked
in and was suprised to see the Christa heading straight for a planet!
"Whoa!" Harlan shouted as he got to his station.  Harlan worked
furiously to get the Christa to safety.  It was harder without a 
navigator, but he would just have to manage.  "Where IS everyone?" he 
said to himself.  With a few quick manuvers, Harlan started to land
the Christa.  The Christa landed with a thump which made Harlan fly 
out to the floor.  He hit his head and fell unconsious.  

Harlan awoke rubbing his head.  What had happened?  Ah, yes. He 
remembered now.  Harlan got to his feet and tried to power up the 
screen.  "Great," he mumbled to himself.  "Now the screen wont power 
up.  Just WONDERFUL."  Harlan made his way to the airlock.  He opened 
it up and glorious rainbow colors shot out at him.  He had to shield 
his eyes for a moment to adjust.  After minutes of adjusting his eye 
sight, he began to see the true beauty within the place.  There was a 
long Yellow...almost golden road going out into the distance.  He 
stepped out only to hear miscelaneous giggling.  

"Who's there?" Harlan said turning in every direction.  More giggling.
"What's going on here!  Radu!  Commander!!  Where are you guys?"
Harlan paused for a response.  "Man, if Radu cant hear that, there
MUST be something wrong."  Harlan shook his head and started back into
the Christa when he saw a large bubble-like object floating his way.
It formed into a child.  A familiar child.  

"Hello!  Are you a good sorcerer or a bad sorcerer?" it said cheerily.

"Rosie!   There you are!  Sorcerer?  That's a new one," Harlan said
with a nervous laugh.  His smile widened until he saw the look on
Rosie's face.  "Rosie?  You okay?"

"Rosie?  I think you may be mistaken.  I am Rosenda.  The good witch
of the North-eastern hemisphere.  And you...are a sorcerer.  Now, I
ask again.  Are you a good sorcerer, or a bad one?"  Rosenda's smile
brightened the day.  

"Sorcerer?  No, I'm not one at ALL!!"

"Oh.  Well, I'm a bit confused.  I was told a sorcerer had killed the
wicked witch of the south pole.  And there she is.  And there you 
are."  Rosenda pointed out both Harlan and a squashed person with only
their hands with a medalian being clutched showing. 

"Aww, man!  Commander Goddard's gonna KILL me when he finds out I 
landed on a person!"  Harlan turned back to Rosenda.  

More giggles.  

"What's that?"

Rosenda laughed.  "Those are the spunch-kins.  It's all right, you can
come out."  

Several small figures started to walk out in a shy manner.  Harlan was
shocked to realize that most of them looked like Elmira!  All of them!

"Whoa!  How do you tell them apart?"  They started to giggle their
high-pitched laughs again.  

"We must thank a song!" one shouted out.  

The others chorused. 

"Yes, a song!"

"We must do a song!"

"Let us sing!"


"A song," Harlan asked with disbelief.  "No thanks."

Despite Harlan's suggestion to stop, they all chorused together in a
happy, peppy song. Harlan thought it would NEVER end!  As Harlan 
started to finally cheer up into the mood of the song, a large cloud
of smoke appeared in the middle of the choir.  Each spunch-kin ducked
down to the ground.  One pulled Harlan down.  Rosenda stood proud,
tall, and happy.  So happy, it was almost disgusting.  Through the
clouds, a woman appeared in a black hat with a black robe.  Her face
was pale green.  She glanced around and made her way to the pair of
hands with the madalian in it.  

"Who did it?" she shouted out.  Harlan looked up, and to his surprise,
it was Ms Davenport!  "Who killed my step-sister twice removed!"

"Ms Davenport?  What are you doing in those goofy clothes?" Harlan got
up and dusted himself off.  He folded his arms and stood by Rosenda.

"That's the wicked witch of the equator.  She's worse than the other

"Who did it?" Ms Davenport/Wicked witch of the equator shouted out.
She continued.  "Who killed her?  Was it YOU?  Or you?!"
She pointed to Harlan standing innocently.  

"Aren't you forgetting the medalian?" Rosenda said pointing out.
"Ah, yes.  The medalian."  The witch walked over to her dead 
step-sister twice removed and prepared to grab the glamorous medal, 
when it disappeared.  "Aaahhh!! What happened?"  She glared at 
Rosenda.  "What have you done with it?"

Rosenda laughed.  "It doesn't belong to you now.  Look!"  Rosenda
pointed to Harlan.  Around his neck was the medalian.  

"Give me that!  Give me that now!!"  

"Dont give it to her! It obviously has some importance to her or she
wouldn't want it so badly," Rosenda whispered to Harlan.  Harlan

"No way, you witch."

"I'm warning you!"

"You have no powers here!  Go, before a ship lands on YOU!"  The witch
backed away and looked up to the sky.  

"All right.  But you haven't seen the last of me!  I'll get you,
Harlan Band!  And your little dog too!"

Harlan glanced around.  "I dont HAVE a dog!"

"Oh.  Well....I'll still get you!"  The witch ended her discussion
with an insane laughter and disappeared with another cloud of smoke.

The little spunch-kin people got up with gasps of surprise.  

"Now, now.  Calm down," Rosenda said with a slightly concerned look on
her face.  "It'll be okay.  Now, Harlan.  It looks like you have quite
an adventure for you!"  

"But...I just want things back to normal.  With Radu and everyone back
on the Christa.  I mean...."

"Ah, well you'll have to see the Enchanter of Foz."

"The Enchanter of Foz?"

"Yes.  A great and powerful magician.  But very mysterious.  I suggest
you take along a spunch-kin."

"Oh, WONDERFUL," Harlan remarked rolling his eyes.  

"Eltoto!  Come along!"  One spunch-kin walked out folding her arms.

"Do I HAVE to?" she said with a plead.  

"Heh, heh, heh.  Dont worry Eltoto.  You'll be great in the hands of

Both sighed heavily at the sight of one another.  

"But how do I GET to the Enchanter of Foz?"

"Just follow the painted yellow tile set."  Rosenda pointed to the
golden line that faded out into the distance.  "I dont suppose you
brought your magic carpet with you?"

"No...I didn't."

"Great," Eltoto shouted out.  "Then we WALK??"

"I'm afraid so," Rosenda said sorrowfully.  

"Aww, great," Harlan voiced out mindlessly.  

"Well, I wish you luck."  Rosenda started to change form until she was
a bubble again.  

"Do ya think if I poked it, she would pop?" Harlan whispered to a 
fellow spunch-kin.  It looked at him strangely.  "Guess not."  The 
bubble faded  away into nothingness.

"So....where do we go from here?" Harlan asked Eltoto.  

"The painted yellow tile set?" Eltoto remarked in  sarcastic tone.

"Duh.  Let's go."  Eltoto followed Harlan to the beginning of the 

"Harlan, why dont we just take a short-cut?  There's no point in going
all the way to the beginning where we can circle around a few times
and wear ourselves out before we even START."

"Would you stop whining?"

"Can I switch with anyone!?" she called out to the other spunch-kins.

No comments. 

"Great.  I'm STUCK with an idiot who wants to go in circles to wear us
BOTH out.  Just great.  I just hope I meet someone cute along this

"I'm cute."

"Keep telling yourself that, and soon you may be able to BELIEVE it."

"I do believe it!"

"Who else?"


"Who?  Your IMAGINARY friend?"

Harlan was about to comment when he heard an arousement of singing.
He looked around and saw the spunch-kins singing.  "Oh god, not

"Follow the painted yellow tile set....follow the--"

"Aw!!  Let's get out of here!"  Harlan raced away, ears plugged while
Eltoto skipped along merrily to the music.  Finally, they were out of

Harlan and Eltoto walked into a crossing.  "Well NOW which way?" 
Harlan said throwing his arms up into the air.  

"What are you asking me for?  I'm not your personal map," Eltoto


"That way's pretty spiffy," a voice called out. 

"What was that!" Harlan shouted out trying to get over the scare.

"No need to yell, Harlan Band.  I'm right beside you.  Anyway, it was
that thing."  Eltoto pointed to a scarebird who looked remarkably 

"Scarecrows dont talk."

"First off, it's a scare BIRD.  And second off, it did talk, so you're

"Do you practice being annoying or do you get it naturally?"

"Both."  Harlan shook his head.  He started towards the direct the
scarebird was pointing, when he heard it again.  

"Of course, people also like to go that way."

Harlan looked up and saw the scarebird pointing the opposite
direction.  "Hey, Eltoto, wasn't that pointing the other way?"

"I TOLD you so!  But did you ever listen!  No!!"

"Aw, forget you man."

"Fine, whatever."

"Of course," began the voice again.  "Some people like to go both 
ways!"  Harlan glanced up that the scarebird, and noticed it pointing
both directions.  

"You DID talk!" Harlan said amazed.  

"Didn't I just SAY that?" Eltoto said insulted.  

"Didn't you?" Harlan said ignoring Eltoto's remarks.  

The scare bird nodded.  Then shook her head.  Then nodded again.

"What's wrong with you?  Cant you make up your mind?"

"I wish I could," it said in a robotic tone. "But I dont have a memory
chip.  Most of it's cracked."  Harlan walked up and tapped the spot
where the memory chip was supposed to be.  

"You remind me of someone.  Have I seen you before?"

"No, I dont think so," it said happily.  "I am the scarebird."

"Oh.  Well, can you get down?"

"No...see....there's something behind me that...well...."  Scarebird
started to struggle to get loose.  

"Here, let me help."  Harlan went to the back of a poll and started to
mess around with it.  "Well...I dont see anything that would..."

"If you bend that small metal rod over there, I should fall loose 

"Like this?"  Harlan bent the metal rod and the scarebird toppled to
the ground.  

"I'm free!" she yelled.  She got up and started to walk away, but
continued to stumble along.  

"Well, you're not starting out very well!" Harlan said helping
Scarebird to her feet.  

"Duh, Harlan," Eltoto said folding her arms.  Harlan shot her a dirty
look.  Eltoto returned the look.  Harlan helped Scarebird to her feet
and stood up straight.  

"There ya go.  So what are you going to do now that you're free?"

"I dont know."

"You dont KNOW?"

"Nope.  I dont have a memory crystal to think with.  Only hay."

" do you talk if you dont have a memory crystal?"

"I dont know.  But you can do a LOT of things without a memory

"I suppose so."

As Harlan thought about what Scarebird was telling him, he heard music
coming from no where.  "Where's that coming from?"  Harlan glanced
over only to find Scarebird...singing.  "Aww, man!  There aren't going
to be MORE songs are there?" Harlan whined.  The music continued to

We could sit and think together
Talk about the weather
No longer be a dip.
An idea would be no stranger
And thoughts would be no danger
If I only had the chip.  
Gee, it would be really spiffy
To think things in a jiffy
In just a simple zip
And it would be a doozy
If I thought as fast as Suzee
If I only had the chip
Yes, I...could throw a pie...without the long-time thought
I could laugh and run and skip and jump and trot
Then I could laugh.... and think a lot
I would not be just some metal
My head, and empty kettle
My answers, just a trip
I'd be faster, I'd be quicker
My head would be a ticker
If I only had the chip!!!

Scarebird shouted out to the rythme of the music.  Harlan folded his
arms and sat down.  Why him?  Why couldn't he be back with his friends
on the Christa?  After minutes of Scarebirds singing, she finally 
stopped and smiled a stupid, satisfied grin.  

"Finally!  Hm...would you like to come with us? We're off to see the
Enchanter to see if he...or she....can get me back."

"And they MADE me go with him," Eltoto said rolling her eyes.

"You know you want me," Harlan said with a grin.

"Um....hallucinations already?  That's strange."

"Do you think the Enchanter would REALLY do that for me?" Scarebird
said happily knowing the answer coming to her.  

"Why not!"  

"I can think of a few reasons."

"Eltoto, are you going to do this throughout the whole trip?"

"Sure am!"

Harlan sighed heavily.   "Okay, fine."  Harlan turned to find 
Scarebird holding on to Harlans hand.  Eltoto...the same.  "What's 
going on?"  Both started to skip down the path.  "Oh no!  We're not 
SKIPPING there, are we?"  Harlan tried to stop, but found that he was 
skipping along too.  As he tried to keep up with the pace, to his 
horror, he found the other two singing down the path!  "This is NOT 
my day!" he said frustrated.  They continued.  

Part 2 of "Enchanter of Foz"!:
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